Thursday, March 4, 2010

Cats, a lot of cats

Reason to Switzerland. From Lou Reed to 149 cats in one article, check out this link and say meow. I am well on my way to needing my own attorney, but as I like to say: I only have three cats at a time. The rest are outside or under the couch.

Not being a cat person by nature, I've watched my disintegration into a multi-cat housing authority with amazement and disbelief. Their main attractions are the softness of their fur and the satisfying architecture of their forms. And they purr. And they have those vacant eyes, like the blonde girls at the gym who only show up for the tanning beds. Dogs have a certain self-serving cunning that makes them about like your average four year old (I have a black lab and a border collie, both genius dogs). Cats just aren't like that. We have one, Marzi, who wakes up every morning like it's the first day of the rest of his life. I see him sometimes, wandering outside, completely lost. A fluffy white and orange cat on the edge of forever.

I could go on, but I really shouldn't. If you want to do some real good in the world, give to no-kill cat shelters and make it possible for those shelters to accommodate more cats, especially those who get dumped by the side of the road (and make their way to my house). Please. And vote in a health care plan that has psychiatric counseling for people who talk baby-talk to their cats. Ban the word "cute" from the English language. Limit cat condo furniture--that stuff is awful. And send me some aspirin.


  1. What you need, lady, is a shot of the Wisdom of Zipper. But then, don't we all?

  2. At least you haven't offered to shoot my cats with your little toy gun, Evan.

  3. You should switch to goats. They have survived the test of time. The greeks haven't sacrificed or eaten them all. You can still track the hair inside to your couch, and claim philosophically that they have some useful value (although you have to do all of the work yourself for the cheese/milk/meat), but at least you can eat them if they piss you off. Name them if you like, then you can label the packages of meat accordingly. If you like eyes, they are a step above blonds.

  4. Very poorly paid animal rights lawyer indeed? Only $186/hr for animal rights law. How can one expect to live on that? A true sacrifice of the heart. Trade your job for that one?